The Incident You Have Seen Is True

On tonight’s episode of Adam-12 the officers got a call for a “psycho-chick” who was rolling back and forth, unable to move or speak in the middle of a motel parking lot. She was a young woman with a little beehive and checkered minidress with white stockings. They grabbed her Twiggy-thin body and kicked a motel door open and threw the girl onto a crummy little bed. Speak up, they demanded. Out with it. She broke into incoherent sobs, though the actress’ fake eyelashes and heavy makeup remained perfect. After they hollered at her some more, she fessed up. She murmured that she lived through things she couldn’t go home and tell her parents about, something about an older man, the motel room, feeling used. Awwwwww, sweetheart, the blond cop said, patting her back gently. He’s not worth your tears. The brown-haired cop handed her a box of tissues. Cheer up, kid. Things like this happen. It’s not the end of the world. Then they sent her home. Anyway the most jarring thing about this show is what the officers wear off-duty. For most of the episode, they look timelessly handsome in their dark uniforms, and then at the end, one of them is wearing some hideous paisley shirt with bright-colored bell-bottoms. It really reminds you of how far we’ve come as a society.