Italian American, my ass

I only learned recently that Columbus Day, an American holiday that gives us an excuse to have a long weekend in the middle of October honors colonizer Christopher Columbus, is apparently considered by some[1] to be “Italian American Day.”

This was a surprise to say the least, as it was never a thing in my or my family’s life. We have never claimed Columbus, and the fact that people do so actually makes me kinda ashamed of my heritage.

There are actually dumbasses out there who think Indigenous People’s Day is Anti-Italian,[2] and think Zohran Mamdani tweeting a pic of an ugly Columbus statue and saying “Take it down” is a literal hate crime against their people.[3] A lot of these people seem to be conservatives like Jack Shittarelli. I guess they’re trying to make Columbus day another ~War on Christmas.~

Columbus was a mass enslaver and torturer of indigenous people. He also wasn’t a fucking Italian American. It’s a fucking joke to pretend that an Italian navigator from the 15th century and actual descendants of the Italian diaspora have anything in common.

Most of our ancestors came to America because they were poor, exploited, and there was no hope or opportunity where they lived. So they came somewhere where they would be maybe a little less exploited.

My Italian American family had it really good for a while. Little did they know some of their descendants would eventually end up voting for a fascist, who supports dehumanizing people who are in a similar boat that we were in little over a hundred years ago.

Fellow Italian Americans, your ancestors at Ellis Island were more like today’s Hispanic Americans than they were like Columbus. MAGA only pretends to tolerate you; you will never be part of their “master race.” When the fascists come for you, don’t act surprised when they start talking about your “genetic criminality” and lump you in with Sacco and Vanzetti.


  1. How many? Not sure. But even one is too many. ↩︎

  2. And also many Italian Americans who do not. ↩︎

  3. Honey, we already have hate crimes! Stop looking for reasons to be persecuted, start trying to help people who actually are! ↩︎